We spoke to experts on their top pregnancy sex positions and tips, so you can keep getting yours at every trimester.
Welcome to the world of navigating pregnancy sex. You may have some questions (or a million) about how to go about it all. Are there any comfy-but-still-hot positions to try during sex when you’re pregnant? Should you even be having sex when you’re pregnant? What does pregnancy sex really feel like? Is it safe to use a vibrator? Is the baby going to be hurt—or is the baby going to know—if you have sex while pregnant? SOS.
Take a seat, put your feet up (swollen ankles = just one of the fun new pregnancy things you might experience), and let’s figure this all out, shall we? The good news: Most of the time, it is totally fine to have sex while pregnant. And if in your specific case, it isn’t (which can be the case in high-risk pregnancies), your doctor will tell you so. Aka: This is def a thing you should be asking during your visits.
“Sex during pregnancy is healthy and encouraged up until the final weeks of pregnancy,” says psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez. “There are a lot of myths around harming the baby and that too much movement can be dangerous—both of which are not true. The baby is protected in the body and if you are not having any pregnancy complications or have been advised by a doctor to be on bed rest, you are safe to have as much sex as you want during pregnancy.” And that pregnancy sex? It can be hot AF.
“Pregnancy causes an increase in vaginal secretions, breast sensitivity, and increased blood flow in the pelvic region,” says director of perinatal services at NYC Health and Hospitals/Lincoln, Kecia Gaither, MD, MPH, FACOG, double board-certified in ob-gyn and maternal fetal medicine.
(Note: You may also feel the exact opposite, especially in the third trimester. If sex is the very last thing on your mind, that is totally valid, too.)
Now, before you take advantage of all this new and exciting sexual energy, check with your doctor, please! “Ask your gyno or midwife exactly what type of sexual activity is safe to do by yourself or with your partner, and when you can do it,” says resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha, Aliyah Moore, PhD. “Most doctors advise against penetration or orgasms for women with high-risk pregnancies. These include women who have a history of miscarriage or preterm labor, a low-lying placenta (placenta previa), an incompetent cervix, or are carrying more than one baby.” There may be workarounds—like no penetration, or sexual touching but no orgasm—but either way, play it safe and ask your doc.
Once they’ve given you the all-clear, author of Sex Without Pain: A Self Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve, Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, who specializes in treating women who suffer from painful sex, says to think about one v important factor: controlling the depth of penetration if you’re having pain with deep thrusting. “While this isn’t harmful to the baby, you can ease any discomfort you might have by choosing positions that limit the depth of penetration,” Jeffcoat says.
Extra helpful during pregnancy: pillows or sex wedges to get as comfy as possible, penis bumpers to limit penetration depth, and toysfor reaching newly hard to reach body parts (or just because!).
Here’s your guide for harnessing those surging pregnancy hormones with positions for every trimester.
FIRST TRIMESTER
“During the first trimester, it’s normal to still be getting used to the concept of an actual human being growing inside of you. Don’t worry, you are not going to hurt the baby… For those that tend to be a bit conservative in their sexual escapades, missionary style is a safe position at this point in pregnancy,” said ob-gyn Dr. Angela Jones, Astroglide's sexual health advisor.
LOOK, HERE IT IS
The Bridge position from yoga can double as a first trimester move. You plant your feet on the bed and lift your pelvis, then your partner kneels to enter, holding onto your thighs. “It may soon become uncomfortable to lie on your back for an extended period of time, so take advantage of sex on your back while you can!” says chief medical officer at Favor, Amy Roskin, MD, JD. “The first trimester might also be one of the last times you can safely enjoy this position, since you’ll likely want to avoid putting pressure on your belly as your pregnancy progresses.”
PROPPED MISSIONARY
Gather up some pillows or invest in a sex wedge to prop up your back and hips in missionary. The wee angle change can make a big difference. “Propped missionary allows for deeper but more comfortable penetration as the uterus is growing,” says ASTROGLIDE sexual health advisor, Sonia Bahlani, MD.
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EDGE OF THE BED
Another back position? Yes—because you (still) can! Scoot your butt to the edge of the bed, then lie back with bent knees. Your partner can penetrate via penis or strap-on, kneel down for oral, or ply you with toys and/or fingers. This position works for any trimester, but if you try it in later months, prop a pillow under one side of you so you’re not lying completely flat, says head gynecologist at VSPOT, Monica Grover, DO, MS.
SAFETY SCISSORS
“This gentle move promotes shallow penetration, making the overall experience comfortable for you and your penetrating partner (who might be terrified their penis or strap-on will poke the baby’s head). With all the blood flow directed to your clitoris, grinding your pelvis against your partner will feel even better than usual,” says Moore. “This position is also perfect for couples who want to engage in sexual activity without penetration, allowing full-on stimulation of the labia and clitoris.”
MISSIONARY
If you're going with missionary, just notice how your body feels about it. “Some women feel more nauseous on their backs,” says ob-gyn Heather Bartos MD, founder of the ME Spot Movement. "And as some women get bigger, they feel too much pressure on their abdomen.”
HOLD MY WAIST, HONEY
Sex standing up allows for shallower penetration and less pressure on the belly. “Place your palms on a sturdy wall, hold a grounding stance, and then ask your partner to hold your waist, and enter you from behind. For clitoral stimulation, have your partner hold a vibrator and place it on your clit. To reduce falls, don’t stand on anything,” recommends licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist Janet Brito, PhD, supervisor at the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health in Honolulu, Hawaii.
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STANDING STROKER
Lean gently forward against a table or (sturdy!) chair while your partner enters you from behind. Have your partner simultaneously reach around to stroke your breasts while they thrust in and out. (This can feel really good if your nips are particularly sensitive these days. Ask your partner to be gentle!)
SECOND TRIMESTER
“In the second trimester, the pregnancy will push you to be a bit more creative. It is not recommended to lie flat on your back beyond the 16th week of pregnancy due to the weight of the uterus on the vasculature or blood supply that supplies not only the uterus, but the rest of the body," Jones says. Not to worry! "This is where you can be a bit more creative…. This includes sex from a side position, the woman-on-top, or sex from behind."
FACING SPOONS
“The second trimester presents with rapid growth and stretching of the ligaments that hold up the uterus,” says pH-D feminine health advisor Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG, FACOG, and that stretching can cause some discomfort or pain. This is to be expected, so try not to worry too much, but also, talk to your doc! (Today’s motto!) When it comes to sex during this trimester, you’re going to want to try positions that will feel comfy and help you relieve discomfort, so lie on the side that hurts to take the pressure off. Penetration when you’re on your side can feel great and super intimate if you and your partner are into passionate eye-gazing.
THE TABLETOP
“The Tabletop position is great for the second trimester as your bump isn't too large and you will still have some mobility,” says sex therapist and relationship expert for Peaches and Screams, Tatyana Dyachenko. To do it, lie back on a table with a thin pillow or rolled up blanket under your lower back. Dangle your legs over the side as your partner stands to enter. Extra bonus: “It leaves your hands free to explore each other’s bodies,” she says.
THE LAP OF LOVE
Hop up on your partner’s lap for both kisses and as much fuckery as you can handle. “Chair sex is well-suited to pregnancy because it doesn’t put extra pressure on your belly,” says Roskin. Adjust according to comfort and belly size, and pls, use a sturdy chair. (Or better yet, do this on the couch.)
HOT SEAT
“Sit on a chair or the edge of the bed facing away and lower yourself down on your penetrating partner. Find an angle that both of you feel the most comfortable with, then guide your partner’s hands to explore and stimulate your erogenous zones like your sensitive breasts and clit,” says Moore. “If you want to make things more intimate and sexy, consider doing this move in front of a mirror. Plus, use sex toys on yourself or your partner.”
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TILT-A-WHIRL
Bartos polled 50 of her patients and the winner for “maximum aesthetics and functionality” was—ta-da!— doggy style. Why? Not only does it create the feeling of a natural waist again, it also takes pressure off the growing uterus, per Bartos. Plus, "some women felt the tilt of the uterus provided more pleasure,” Bartos reported.
T-POSITION
This is like spooning, but the back spoon is a bit more horizontal, explains Bartos. “This has the benefit of aesthetics (for lack of a better word) and functionality, as the partner can reach around and externally stimulate the partner (or she could self-stimulate),” Bartos adds.
THIRD TRIMESTER (ALMOST THERE!)
“Any position that takes stress off your back—doggy style, sex from the side, woman-on-top, facing your partner or reverse—are all great options for the third trimester. Keep in mind, sex is more than penetrative. Pay attention to massaging the vulva and perineum, as these are hot spots!” Jones says.
PILLOW DOG
Just because you’re capital-P pregnant by now, doesn’t mean you can’t have super-hot and intense sex. “I suggest to my clients that they have sex in positions where there is no pressure on the belly,” says certified sex coach and clinical sexologist Georgia Rose, who recommends doggy style with a big stack of pillows supporting your belly. “Swelling and heaviness is very common in the third trimester, so sex in this period should be all about comfort for the pregnant person.”
LATE-TERM LOTUS
The ancient Lotus position is just good in general, but also works well in the third trimester. Give it a try and see if your body is into it. “Some people find deep penetrative sex less comfortable in the third trimester, so you should definitely adjust your activity accordingly,” says Roskin.
COWGIRL’S HELPER
Good news: You can still do cowgirl! Just prop some pillows under your knees to keep pressure off your uterus and cervix. If penetration still feels too deep, add more pillows. “This is a good position to avoid any pressure against the cervix, which is really important to prevent premature contractions/labor in the third trimester,” says Grover.
THE SIDE EYE
“In this trimester the uterus reaches its maximum capacity, not leaving a lot of room for other organs,” says Greenleaf. Try a version of doggy where the penetrating partner has one leg between your legs and the other draped over your hips. “This position will take the pressure of the uterus off the back and vagina,” she says. It also prevents really deep penetration, which, even though your baby won’t feel, your cervix can.
SPOONING FOR YOU
“Spooning is an intimate and soothing position that allows for more sensual, slower, and shallower penetrations," says Moore. Again, you can spice this up by using sex toys like vibrators. Just make sure that you keep your toys extra clean before and after using them.”
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TOUCHY TOUCHY
OUTER LIMITS
“If penetration is uncomfortable, I recommend outercourse, or non-penetrative sexual activities, like making out naked, kissing, and grinding or mutual masturbation or oral sex,” Brito suggests. Try covering yourselves with a sh*t-ton of Astroglide lube and going in for some mutual masturbation.