With the blink of an eye, the new year is upon us. And whether time has been crawling, zooming, or a combination of the two, many of us see the new year as an opportunity for fresh starts — from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond.
If you’re looking to refresh your relationships in 2022, we have a few resolutions to help get you started as well as some tips to help you to follow through and ensure that the upcoming year is full of love, passion, and pleasure.
1. Prioritise self-pleasure
You may think that new year’s resolutions for couples ought to focus on things you do together, but the time you spend apart can also enrich your relationship — and sex life.
Consider setting more time aside for self-pleasure in 2022 and reap the many benefits ranging from lower stress levels and better sleep to increased libido and heightened sexual response.
If you have trouble carving out alone-time, consider enjoying yourself for a few extra minutes in the shower. Or take turns going out once a week (with the kids if you’re parents) so that you each get some alone time in the house.
2. Revisit your early relationship – why do I love you again?
Take a trip down memory lane to the early days of your relationship. Reminiscing about the past can help to reinvigorate the feelings of excitement and passion that you experienced when you first met.
Set aside 20-40 minutes to enjoy this conversation using these prompts as a guide:
- What was the first thing you noticed about me?
- Tell the story of when we first met.
- What songs remind you of falling in love?
- What first attracted you to me?
- How have I changed (for the better) since our early days?
- What stood out about our first date?
- How did you feel after our first date?
- Describe our first kiss.
- What do you remember about our first sleepover?
- What is one awkward intimate moment you would not want to relive, but are able to laugh about now?
- What was the most memorable sex we’ve ever had? What made it so memorable?
3. Hang out with a new couple
Novelty is the ultimate path to passion, but once you become comfortable and familiar, some of this passion inevitably fades. You obviously don’t want to trade in your partner for a newer model as soon as familiarity sets in, so spending time with new people together is the perfect compromise.
Not only does hanging out with other happy couples positively affect your relationship (science says happiness is contagious!) but cultivating a new relationship together can be exciting. Getting to know new people as a couple can reinvigorate some of the feel-good chemicals that flooded your bodies when you were first dating. And as you learn more about others, you also learn more about yourselves; you get to see your partner from a different perspective as they interact with new friends.
4. Give more compliments — to yourself, your partner, and others.
When something nice crosses your mind, say it out loud. Pay attention to actions, language, behaviors, personality traits, strengths, and attributes beyond appearances. You can complement cooking, sense of humor, communication, attitude, skill, energy, and so much more.
Compliments will get you everywhere and when you compliment your lover, you both get a boost in mood and self-esteem, so let them flow freely and generously.
5. Soak in the compliments
Every time someone pays you a compliment, pause and repeat it to yourself. Tune into their praises unapologetically. You can even write them down in a compliment journal or end your day with a recap of all the nice things you heard since breakfast.
We have a tendency to hone in on negative feedback, but if you really keep track of positive affirmations, you’ll find that they far outnumber the negative.
6. Schedule sex
You have probably heard that scheduling sex is essential for busy schedules, but many people complain that penciling sex into your calendar kills the spontaneity. This may be true, but it’s also okay — you don’t have to be spontaneous. You don’t spontaneously eat, drink, or go on vacation, so you cannot expect sex to be entirely spontaneous either. Instead of worrying about spontaneity, focus on the thrill of building anticipation.
If you want to balance planning and spontaneity, take turns secretly scheduling sex. This means that rather than designating Friday night as date night, each person plans a sexual interaction once per week (or however often you want). Decide in advance as to when you are going to initiate and make a mental or calendar note to follow through.
This not only keeps things fresh but also ensures that initiating sex does not fall on one party alone. And though it is not entirely spontaneous, by taking turns, you each get a “surprise” sex session every so often. You will need to make sure that your schedules align (e.g., do not schedule sex on a Monday morning when you know they have spin class) and be flexible when plans sometimes change.
So, get started now…secretly schedule a sex session and surprise your lover with something fun, new, or exciting.
7. Volunteer together
Research suggests that volunteering is good for your health, strengthens your relationships, and can make you more attractive. Couples who volunteer together report feeling closer to one another and more connected to their communities — both of which increase their chances of a lasting, happy relationship. Whether you opt to help out at a local shelter, assist in the classroom, or build homes abroad in lieu of taking a holiday, volunteering together will inevitably make your relationship more exciting in 2022.
8. Schedule digital detoxes
Whether you go phone-free one day a week, lock your phones in a cupboard during dinner or ban them from the bedroom, be sure to carve out tech-free time in 2022.
We know that digital devices detract from intimacy, trust, and connection, so start talking about tech boundaries today so that you can make space for personal as opposed to digital connection in the new year.
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Whatever resolutions you embrace, consider sharing them with your partner. Here’s to a 2022 full of happiness, health, love, and pleasure.
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