Unfortunately, you can’t just walk up to a woman you might have romantic feelings for and say, “My ASTROGLIDE lube just came in the mail, want to try it out with me?” unless you enjoy getting slapped in public. If you want to kickstart a romantic relationship, score a girlfriend, a date, or simply want to score, you’ll have to be a little less obvious and, not unlike lube, a lot slicker. If your subtlety is reciprocated, you might have trouble judging if the girl you’re wooing is into you or she’s simply being polite. It’s normal to have a fear of rejection; it helps to have a better idea of how she feels before you make a move. Here are a few of the sneaky and subtle signs she likes you, or that prove she’s interested:
1. She asks a lot of questions.
A woman who isn’t interested in you won’t ask you what you’re drinking when you approach her at the bar. If you meet her at a concert, she won’t inquire what your favourite song by the performer is, or if this is your first time seeing him play live. Why? Because she doesn’t care. But, if as you’re talking the questions you ask her are answered and followed by some questions of her own, according to Brenden Dilley, a Celebrity Life & Relationship Coach and Author of Still Breathin’: The Wisdom & Teachings of a Perfectly Flawed Man, this is a subtle indicator that you’re making a good impression.
If you’re looking for a sign she’s into you during a conversation, Dilley claims the number of questions a woman asks you can be a great and subtle indicator of her interest. “If you can maintain her gaze, provoke her touch, and elicit more questions during a conversation, you’re on the right path.”
2. She blushes in unexpected places.
Women who are aware of certain body language signifiers can alter them or hide them, but there are physiological signs of attraction that aren’t as easy to disguise.
“Psychologists argue that women’s face, neck, and upper chest redden during the blush of flirtation and the flush of sexual arousal,” says Dr. Raj Persaud. So if you’re flirting with a woman, one of the obvious or clearer signs to look for is her neck or chest turning red. If you notice this, there’s a good chance you’re doing something right!
3. She makes you her handyman.
If you’re looking for signs she’s into you, one clear way to tell is if she asks you for help with menial tasks. Most women are perfectly capable of changing a lightbulb, checking their oil, or installing the newest update on their smartphones, but asking a cute guy for help is a time-tested technique for stroking his ego while getting to spend time together in the process.
If a woman asks for your assistance on a project she can probably handle on her own, it’s definitely a good sign that she’s into you. So the next time your friend or co-worker asks for a hand on a simple project, don’t be nervous — help her out!
4. She sends her friends to do recon.
Women are excellent information gatherers, and when they want to get to know someone, they’ll often send their friends on fact-gathering missions that involve talking to their crush. Even if they aren’t asked to do recon, if a woman has been telling her friends about you, they might be curious enough to spend time with you and do some poking around on their own. These types of interactions should help ease any fear of rejection.
Pay close attention to the way her friends act around you — if they ask you questions about your personal life and seem friendlier than usual, there is a good chance that they may be gathering intel.
5. She changes her schedule and gets social.
Does one of your co-workers always seem to be waiting at your favourite table in the break room? She could be timing her breaks with yours so she can spend more time flirting with you. Of course, she probably won’t let you know she’s doing this, so you’ll have to pay close attention — if it seems like she’s suddenly free for lunch every time you are, it’s likely not a coincidence, but an attempt to have more time to talk to you.
Engaging with you on social media is also a strong sign that she might be interested. If a woman likes nearly all of your status updates, replies to your tweets, or comments on all your Instagram photos, these can be considered obvious signs that a girl has romantic feelings for you. She’s paying you special attention and is likely trying to draw yours.
6. She stays in contact and singles you out.
A woman who’s interested in you will make herself available, even if just by text or email. Before she heads off to college for fall or leaves for a business trip, she’ll touch base with you to let you know how and when she can be reached to ensure you know that she is available to talk.
If she doesn’t provide this info to everyone, even better — it means you’re special, and she values your attention more. In fact, singling you out, in general, is a sign of attraction or having feelings. Does she deliver your favourite Starbucks drink to your desk as a surprise without doing the same for anyone else? If so, she likes you more than her other co-workers or acquaintances — and this is definitely a good sign!
Keep an eye out for these signals if you’re trying to gauge the interest of a woman you’re crushing on, but also remember that attraction is a fluid thing. Just because she does or doesn’t show signs of interest initially doesn’t mean she can’t fall for you over time (or decide you’re actually a creep — sorry!). Pay attention to body language and eye contact. Does she seem to smile a bit more when she talks to you, or a bit more shy or nervous around you? Stay vigilant and try to read the signs as your connection to each other grows and changes, and who knows — you might just get to try out that lube together after all.