True equality begins in the bedroom.
If you’ve landed on this site, hopefully it’s because, like me, you’ve noticed there’s something fundamentally wrong with the way we treat sex as a culture.
That ‘something’ starts as soon as we’re old enough to communicate, when girls are taught to refer to our genitals exclusively via euphemisms, like “private parts” and “special place”.
It continues into our schooling, when we learn that boys have erections and wet dreams, and girls have period pain and the burden of pregnancy prevention.
And it persists well into adulthood, when research shows women are having unsatisfying, orgasm-less sex in large numbers, and yet, not speaking up about it.
So yeah, there’s a problem.
And for anyone who thinks this is just about getting off, I’m here to hopefully provide you with a bit of a schooling.
Because while the knowledge I impart is largely based around helping people have better, more connected sex with their partners, the effects of it go well beyond that.
Perhaps most profoundly, it’s estimated one third of women are in physical pain or discomfort during sex. ONE THIRD.
Though it’s rarely acknowledged, it’s my belief true gender equality begins in the bedroom, where we’re our most vulnerable and exposed. A fake orgasm might seem trivial, but when you consider the fact men climax on average 95 percent of the time they’re having sex, while for women, that number drops way down to 65 percent – you start to understand the gravity of the situation we’re in as a culture when it comes to sex.
Perhaps most profoundly, it’s estimated one third of women are in physical pain or discomfort during sex. ONE THIRD.
If that figure doesn’t strike a chord with you, it should.
Because when you live in a culture that conditions women to silently suffer through miserable sex, you also need to acknowledge the fact we’ve taught women their comfort is irrelevant.
This makes plenty of sense when you consider the multitude of other ways female comfort is de-prioritised by our society. Research shows women wait considerably longer than men to be seen in the emergency room and are typically viewed as ‘less urgent’ cases. On average, we also wait around seven years to receive a diagnosis of endometriosis – a condition resulting in crippling pain during and after intercourse.
In contrast, science has really outdone itself when it comes to the penis. There are almost 25,000 articles on erectile dysfunction on PubMed, while you’ll find just one fifth of that on dyspareunia – a condition an estimated 20 percent of women suffer from defined by painful sex.
Needless to say, we have A LOT to learn when it comes to sex, and in particular, female sexuality.
Becoming more educated about sex doesn’t just mean improving your relationship, having more orgasms and better self confidence – it also means championing gender equality. I can’t think of a better reason to get down and dirty than that.