Whether you are all boo’d up this Halloween or rolling solo, this the season to bring a little fun into the bedroom. What better way than by taking those Halloween costumes from the streets to the sheets with a little role playing?! Being on a Sunday in 2021, perfect opportunity to have some fun all day.
Whether you’re new to role-playing or a seasoned veteran, we’ve got some tips and ideas for an evening of tricks and treats!
What is role playing?
Let’s start with the basics. Role play is the act of imitating a character or behavior of someone who is different from yourself. Role playing is popular in relationships because it gives individuals and couples the opportunity to play out their sexual fantasies. It’s a powerful way to express yourself and your desires, which you should always feel open to do in any relationship (whether your status is long-term, or you’ve just met).
A little kink is healthy for any relationship (or hook up)
First off, forget any stigmas or things you’ve heard that role play might be bad. Being someone else, for even just a few minutes behind closed doors, is not only exciting but can strengthen relationships. According to Elite Daily, role play in relationships is really healthy and can help to grow and fortify your connection with your partner. Caitlyn Caracciolo, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in sex therapy says, “The playing out of fantasy tends to happen when one feels very safe and secure within a relationship. Role playing can be an excellent indicator of feeling emotionally and physically safe with a sexual partner.”
What’s Your Fantasy?
Role playing allows you to be a little kinky in the sheets by stepping outside of yourself, getting into character, and acting out your deepest fantasies. In role playing scenarios not only can you indulge in some of your wildest fantasies, but so can your partner, which means maybe you’ll get a glimpse of each other that you don’t normally get to see on a day-to-day basis. Plus, we’re willing to bet that a little role playing in the bedroom will give you tons of things you’ll remember long after you leave the actual hours of the steamy night behind you.
So, what are some common sexual fantasies? According to INSIDER, these are the most common sexual fantasies (this may not ring true for everyone, but maybe there’s one or two that you’ve also got on your list):
- Multi-partner sex, which involves sex with more than one partner of the same or different genders
- Dominant or rough sex. This includes BDSM, which stands for bondage, disciple, domination, submission, sadism and masochism
- Voyeurism, or arousal caused by watching people engage in sexual activity
- Exhibitionism, or the act of becoming aroused by others consensually watching you have sex
- Sex in public or an unusual location
- Cosplay, or dressing up like someone or something from a book, movie, video game, etc.
- Romanic or tantric sex, or sex that focuses on an emotional and/or erotic connection
- Gender-bending, when a person challenges societal expectations of their gender
- Homoeroticism, a fantasy that involves sexual acts with members of the same sex
Never role played before? We’ve got you covered!
One of the great things about role playing is that it can help to lower inhibitions, perhaps making you a bit more adventurous and open to things than you might typically be. However, for someone new to role playing it can certainly seem intimidating. Here are a few things to consider when deciding what, when and how to role play.
- Establish Consent and Boundaries – Just like any other form of sexual contact, role play must first and foremost be consensual. Before you and your partner become different people for the night, talk over what you’re willing to do and not do. You may also want to come up with any safe words if you’re practicing BDSM or anything similar.
- Start Small – It’s okay if the first time you role play doesn’t involve an elaborate, over-the-top costume or fully flushed-out script of make-believe dialogue. It’s really easy and casual to start role playing through text first. You and your partner can gauge how you enjoy it and feel about it without the pressure of “acting” in front of each other.
- Change Locations – Taking yourself out of your “normal” environment can help get things started if you’re new to role playing. Even if it’s just changing up locations in your home. Instead of starting in the bedroom, turn your kitchen into a bar for the evening. Changing up locations can help you let your imagination go.
- Don’t Stress If You Feel Silly – Like anything new or different, role playing can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. It can take time to get used to being that way with your partner, so don’t stress if its uncomfortable at first. If you do find yourself feeling self-conscious or silly playing a role, turn the lights down low or play music on high volume. Changes in sensory perception (deprivation or enhancement) can help to distract you from your self-consciousness.
Bringing those Halloween costumes from the streets to the sheets
Now for the real fun, costumes! Halloween is the perfect opportunity to try out role playing since you already have the costumes handy. If you’re planning your rendezvous after the Halloween party, ASTROGLIDE resident sexologist Dr. Jess O’Reilly suggests:
- Being extra playful.Staying in character is a fun way to draw out the flirtation and keep a love interest or partner guessing. Even as your discussing practical plans or needs for the evening (e.g. do we have enough candy?), remain in character to set the tone and develop greater comfort with your role.
- Choosing a costume that doesn’t represent your typical self. Dressing up gives you a chance to explore your alter ego and try on new personas temporarily. You might even find that you push your boundaries and act out of character once you’re in character. Inject elements of your own personality into the new role but allow yourself to wander into uncharted territory.
Role Playing Costumes
Now the question is, what is the best costume option for both the bedroom and the party? We took a few cues from recent pop culture trends/hits to get you started on creating your roleplaying costume (bonus – these can also double as your Halloween costume):
- Avengers:Whether it be the Wanda the Scarlett Witch, the mischievous Loki or Captain America himself, role-playing as one or multiple of the Avengers is guaranteed to be SUPER fun
- Bridgerton: Travel back to Regency-era England and recreate the steamy scenes between Simon and Daphne. Lady Whistledown herself won’t be able to handle the scandal
- Schitt’s Creek:If you want to bring a few laughs into the bedroom, you can’t go wrong with everyone’s favorite son, David Rose, the infamous Moira, or you could even be “A Little Bit Alexis”
- Cruella De Vil: Bring out your bad side by disguising yourself as one of Disney’s most notorious (and fabulous) villains. As long as you promise that no dalmatians will be harmed in the making of your romantic rendezvous
- Olympic Athlete: Set records and bring home gold by dressing as your favorite Olympic athletes. You’ll be sure to reach your (Toky)O 😉
- Space Jam: If you’re feeling nostalgic for the ‘90s, pull a LeBron and revive the classic cartoon by dressing in your or your partner’s favorite jersey and little to nothing else. What’s UP doc?!
- Ted Lasso: Speaking of sporty, grab a whistle and your favorite sweatsuit (preferably one with tearaways) and give us your best Roy Kent impression. Your Keeley will be sure to thank you
- Sex/Life: Recreate Billie’s fantasy-charged trip down memory lane by getting down with your own Brad this Halloween. Not included: that ginormous you-know-what.
- The White Lotus: Take a make-believe trip to the islands with your partner, dress as a guest of The White Lotus and try recreating *that* scene
- Sex and the City: Celebrate the revival of one of the most iconic and sexually charged sitcoms of all time by becoming your own Samantha Jones or Mr. Big. We promise it won’t be the only BIG thing to happen in your bedroom
For even more ideas, check out our blog on sexy costume ideas for couples here.