Did you know, squirting is not just for penises.
It’s not a theme park side show trick.
And it’s not a contest.
You don’t get points for distance or force.
It doesn’t guarantee a bigger, better orgasm (although this might be your experience).
And it doesn’t often look like it does in porn.
Squirting, in fact, is a bit of a misnomer. Unless you’ve hidden a Super Soaker in your vagina, it’s likely to be more of a drip or dribble than a big visible gush.
Also referred to as female ejaculation*, squirting involves the expulsion of fluid during sex for folks with vulvas and vaginas. The fluid is believed to be associated with the skene’s glands, which drain into the urethra and are often considered a part of the G-Area or G-Zone. Embedded in the spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra, the skene’s glands are considered homologous to the prostate gland, which explains why the contents of ejaculate for folks with vaginas are similar to prostatic fluid for folks with penises. This ejaculate has been shown to contain prostatic-specific antigen, prostatic acid phosphatase, urea, creatinine, glucose and fructose. In some cases, it may also contain traces of diluted urine, which is no big deal unless you do a sniff test and this happens to bother you. Bottom line: if it feels good, you don’t have to analyse or apologise.
Generally, the fluid expelled is less than a teaspoon in volume and it doesn’t usually spray across the room. Of course, human variation is just that: varied. Some people expel more and some people expel less, but the volume of fluid is not necessarily indicative of pleasure. Like all bodily fluids (e.g. sweat and saliva), the amount of fluid released varies from person to person, so let’s not make this into a contest.
In terms of taste, some describe the fluid as a little sweet and others say that it has almost no taste at all. Squirting can occur as a part of your orgasm and it can also occur independently of orgasm. Some people love the sensation of squirting and describe ejaculatory orgasms as the ultimate full-body experience, while others consider the sensation neutral or even annoying — especially if you have to sleep in the wet spot. Whatever your experience and preference, you’re perfectly normal. Just as some people love a good foot rub and others prefer not to have their feet touched, a range of experiences is healthy and you do not need to measure yours against anyone else’s.
If you want to learn to squirt, I highly recommend that you experiment with the approaches below for the sake of pleasure more generally as opposed to for the sole purpose of achieving one specific goal.
Oftentimes squirter orgasms are associated with G-Area play. Its location along the urethral sponge is associated with both full-body orgasms and ejaculation. But don’t start with the G-Zone right away. Instead, take your time:
- Caress your body for a few minutes and breathe deeply as you tune into the moment.
- Rub, touch and vibe between your legs — against your lips, clitoris and thighs — until you can feel your body becoming aroused.
- Continue to stroke, touch, caress, vibe and rub in any way that works for your body
- Allow your breath to deepen and let your sounds flow without inhibition.
- When you’re ready, you can slide a few lubed-up fingers or a toy inside to a shallow depth and curl up toward your stomach wall.
- Alternate between a come-hither motion over the G-Zone and a tick-tock movement from side to side with both fingers.
- As orgasm approaches, continue to stimulate the G-Zone with a come-hither motion as you place your other hand on your lower abdomen. Press and release smoothly in rhythm with your come-hither motion. This will allow you to stimulate the urethral sponge (the site of the G-Area) from both the inside and the outside.
- Follow the rhythm of your hips and allow your body to sink into the rhythm and pressure.
- If you start to feel pressure building, you might want to bear down with your pelvic floor muscles like you’re pushing something out of your vagina. This might feel counterintuitive (we often tense up and contract before orgasm), so the more familiar you become with your pelvic floor, the more likely you’ll be able to release the tension during sex. This bearing down sensation is often described as essential to both releasing fluid and enjoying the more full-bodied sensation associated with the G-Zone.
- Some people like to add clitoral rubbing into the mix, others play with a vibrating butt plug to enhance the sensations and build pressure in the pelvic region. There is no right or wrong way to experience pleasure, so make it your own.
- Breathe deeply and enjoy the process!
Because of the pressure on the bladder (via the G-Area and abdomen), this approach may make you feel as though you have to go pee. Some people enjoy this sensation and others find it uncomfortable. If you don’t like this sensation, you might find that emptying your bladder before you get started will help you to relax. And of course, you don’t have to learn to like it! Not everyone enjoys wetter orgasms, so rather than working to check off a box, use these suggestions to explore and enjoy every last sensation regardless of whether your squirt, drip, dribble or move on to something else that brings you pleasure.
****
*Note: A recent paper aimed to differentiate between ejaculation and squirting and their theory suggests that squirting and ejaculation are distinct processes. They believe that the former involves a more voluminous clear fluid (which includes diluted urine) and the latter involves a thicker substance similar to ejaculate from the penis and prostate. This, of course, is possible. Their research, however, which aims to differentiate between squirting and what they call “real ejaculate” is limited by its aim (which reflects the findings, suggesting confirmation bias) and the fact that it looked at a single participant. And many people describe the sensation of fluid expulsion similarly regardless of whether the fluid is plentiful or scarce or thin or thick. Accordingly, for the purposes of this explanation, we’ll use the terms squirting and ejaculating interchangeably.
You don’t have to be “female” to have a vagina and the term, female ejaculation, is therefore outdated and exclusionary. I’ve included it only in reference to how some people will describe the experience for clarification purposes, but anyone with a vulva and vagina can explore these techniques and approaches.
