Masturbation Tips: A Handy Guide to Solo Sex 

Masturbation is a subject that’s more likely to make people blush than prompt them to start an honest dialogue — or offer how-to tips. While it may be a somewhat taboo topic, masturbation is a key component of a healthy sex life. So… should you be doing it? How often? Is there a right (or wrong) way to masturbate? If you’ve ever wondered how to masturbate, or you’d just like to brush up on your techniques, we’ve got a comprehensive guide to help.

5 Masturbation Myths to Banish

Before you get down to business, it’s important to clear your mind of masturbation misinformation. We’ve already covered sex myths you should stop believing. Now it’s time to delve into the inaccuracies surrounding masturbation. There are quite a few persistent myths that swirl around the topic of masturbation — and we’re not just talking crackpot warnings about blindness or hairy palms. (Both of which are untrue, by the way.)

Sex therapists and human sexuality experts say that many masturbation myths endure because they sound like they might actually be true. In other cases, people cling to inaccurate information because their parents discouraged them from exploring their own bodies as a child. However masturbation myths arise, they can stop people from participating in a normal, healthy act.

Myth: Masturbation Is Not a Male/Female Thing

Good news, ladies. Masturbation isn’t just for the guys. According to Michael J. Salas, a sex therapist in Dallas, masturbation is an equal opportunity activity. “For both men and women, [masturbation] can help them explore their bodies, and have a good understanding of what leads to the most pleasure. It also can help women understand what leads to orgasm.”

Salas says that social norms — not nature — have conditioned some women to believe that masturbation is something reserved for men. Fortunately, this attitude is changing. “Men and women are socialized about masturbation in very different ways. Things have changed, and people accept women's sexuality more, but there are still barriers. It is just assumed that men masturbate. Some section of society view it as unhealthy, but overall, we view this as normal, and healthy.”

Many people also believe that men simply enjoy masturbating more than women, which explains why men masturbate more often. Not so fast, say researchers. In a 2016 study published in the Journal of Sex Research, data showed similar rates of masturbation between young men and women in Sweden. Among women, 85.5 percent said they had masturbated. For men, the number was 98.9 percent. So there was a gap, yes, but not as wide as many people think.

Myth: Masturbation Leads to Sex Addiction

You don’t have to search very hard to find warnings about a supposed connection between self-love and sex addiction. The problem with this blanket warning, however, is that sexuality is an extremely personal concept. Likewise, different people have varying levels of sexual need and desire. What one individual considers excessive may seem quite ordinary to someone else.

Michael Ashworth at Psychology Today explains that sex drives vary from person to person, which means the frequency of a person’s masturbation may also vary compared to others. “Individuals vary tremendously in how much they masturbate. Some folks wouldn’t dream of it, while others masturbate two or three times in their lives, and others two or three times a day. (And those aren’t the only options!) There are no deleterious effects of masturbation itself, and it shouldn’t matter whether you’re single or in a relationship.”

Like anything else, however, too much of a good thing can be bad for you. If you’re worried that your masturbation habits are, ahem, getting out of hand, Michael Ashworth says it’s important to look for signs that it’s interfering with other parts of your life.

For example, are you having less sex with your partner because you’d rather masturbate? This could be a warning that something is off in your relationship or your sex life. Do you use masturbation as a way to escape problems? Masturbating may feel nice, but it won’t solve your financial difficulties or help you overcome career challenges. If you rely on it too much, you might be using it as a way of avoiding real problems in your life.

Myth: Masturbating Depletes Your Sperm Count

Masturbating too often drains your guys, right? Well, not exactly. Sara SDx at Don’t Cook Your Balls explains that masturbation doesn’t hurt your fertility or lower a man’s sperm count.

In fact, it’s best to clear out old sperm if you’re trying for a baby with your partner. This is because older sperm can become less motile, which means they don’t swim as well. And if you’re trying to conceive, motility issues can lower your chances of getting pregnant. If the sperm can’t swim fast enough to reach the target, you’ll probably end up trying for a lot longer than you anticipated.

If you know you have a low sperm count, however, you might want to scale back a bit on frequency of ejaculation. According to Sara, healthy men who wish to conceive should have sex every two to seven days. For those with low sperm count, it’s probably better to make it every three to four days. So if you’re going to masturbate — and you’re also trying to conceive — it’s just something to keep in mind.

Myth: Masturbation Means You’re Not Satisfied with Your Sex Life

Another myth claims that masturbating is something you do when you can’t get off with your partner. According to sex therapists, however, this simply isn’t true.

Sex educator Bianca Alba, a sex educator and past editor of Kinsey Confidential, says that masturbating doesn’t mean an individual is unhappy with their partner. “One major myth is that people wouldn't choose to ever masturbate if they have a regular sexual partner or partners. As a sex educator, I believe that masturbation is a healthy aspect of self love and understanding one's own sexuality, regardless of other sexual opportunities. Masturbation is also a great tool for relaxation and alleviating stress, anxiety, and insomnia.”

When it comes to sex and masturbation, it turns out you really can have your cake and eat it, too.

Myth: Masturbation Is Cheating

Perhaps one of the most common masturbation myths claims that masturbating is a form of cheating on one’s partner. Not so, sex experts say.

According to Rachael Rose, a sex educator and the founder of the sex education and sexuality site Hedonish, masturbation is a healthy, normal part of a relationship. “Some people believe that masturbating while you’re in a relationship is cheating or that it means you’re dissatisfied with your sex life… The truth is masturbation is healthy and normal regardless of your gender, relationship status, or how much sex you're having.”

Far from hurting a relationship, Rose says masturbation can actually help it by teaching you what you like when it comes to sex and sexual contact. “In fact, masturbating can be an important part of your self-care arsenal! It's a great way to help yourself relax, to relieve stress, and it's a fantastic way to learn what feels good for your body.”

6 Masturbation Tips You Need to Know About

Now that we’ve dispelled the myths, it’s time to talk masturbation techniques. Here are six masturbation tips to help you take your masturbation game to the next level.

• Experiment with Lubricant -
  
  
• Get Your Partner Involved
  
  
• Practice in Front of a Mirror
  
  If you’re not quite ready to face the mirror, that’s okay. Here are 8 things you might not know about the clitoris to get you started.
  
  
• Try Some New Toys - .”
  
  Curious which toys you should have in your toolbox? Check out our guide to toys for two.
  
  
• Make Time for It
  
  
• Take It to the Edge

The bottom line is that masturbation is a normal part of a healthy sex life. Do it a little or a lot. Solo or with a partner. There is no wrong way to enjoy this personal and fulfilling aspect of sex.