Over the years, we’ve made it our mission to help people own their own sexual health and achieve orgasm — whether that means developing new, experience-enhancing personal lubricants or educating folks on sexuality and sexual health in general.
Yet, despite all of our efforts, we still hear stories of women “faking it” with their partners — or never even having an orgasm at all. That’s just not a world we want to live in!
We tried to get to the bottom of the issue with our very first “Own Your O” survey. We polled 7,535 people to learn more about their orgasms (or, quite frequently, their lack of orgasms). We made it our mission to uncover the truth about who’s “faking it” — as well as how often (and why).
Here is what we uncovered about the orgasm gap:
About 19% of Women Have Never Orgasmed From Intercourse With a Partner — Only 2% of Men Claim the Same
That’s almost 10 times as many women.
For years, we’ve been discussing the “wage gap” between men and women. We’ve all heard that the average woman earns only 80 cents for every dollar a man makes, that’s 100% true.
But forget the boardroom — it turns out the gap in the bedroom is just as stark. According to our survey, a dramatic amount of women aren’t getting what they need out of sex. The orgasm gap is real, and unfortunately, 19% of women seem to know that all too well.
Nearly Twice as Many Women Claim to Fake It, Compared to Men
A shocking 75% of women reported having faked an orgasm with a partner during intercourse, while only 37% of men made the same claim.
Sure, we know what you’re thinking: “Well, that’s not surprising.” But in 2019, it’s simply not acceptable that women aren’t getting what they need in the bedroom. Likewise, it goes beyond just individual moments. The women in our survey were nearly 10 times as likely to report faking an orgasm “many times.”
Unsurprisingly, the men who were polled in our survey find this to be less of a problem than the women. While the majority of women reported feeling “conflicted” about faking an orgasm, men reported that it was “just fine — it serves a purpose.”
Is it possible that the weight of faking it isn’t affecting men as much, because they’re doing it substantially less? We’ll leave that to you to decide.
Women Remain Silent and Frustrated
In the rare occasion that a man doesn’t orgasm from sex, his most likely response is to masturbate, according to those polled in our survey.
The majority of women? Unfortunately, their most common response is to “stay silent… and frustrated.” The thing a woman is least likely to do, according to our data, is to ask her partner to finish the job.
Why are women faking it rather than speaking up? The most common answer — 42.55% of polled women in the survey — was that they “didn’t want (their) partner to feel bad.” Even worse, the second most likely answer — 30.52% of polled women in the survey — was that they “wanted sex to end faster.” The cherry on top? Nearly three times as many women reported faking an orgasm to turn their partner on.
“In reviewing the ASTROGLIDE ‘Own Your O’ research, what I found most telling was how men approach a missed orgasm versus how women do,” said Jess O’Reilly, ASTROGLIDE’s resident sexologist. “The last avenue a man will take is keeping quiet, which is the first choice women report making.”
While men might feel “just fine” about faking an orgasm, the women in our study were much more likely to report feeling “frustrated” or “conflicted” about it — which, once again, is understandable, considering that our data seems to indicate they do so a lot more.
The Role of Lubricants in Closing the Orgasm Gap
“Studies have shown that increased lubrication can help women experience more pleasure and satisfaction in bed,” says Angela Jones, a board certified OBGYN and ASTROGLIDE’s Resident Health Advisor. “I see it all the time in my practice — the use of a personal lubricant helps many of my female patients find intercourse more enjoyable and orgasms easier to achieve.”
Also important to note: nearly 1.5 times more men than women assert that they “sure have” used lube to help a partner reach climax.
“A sense of experimentation and open-mindedness goes a long way when it comes to reaching climax,” adds Jess. “Trying new products, positions, and opening up to your partner can mean the difference between a fulfilling sex life and a consistently disappointing one.”
This survey is just the tip of our research into making orgasm attainable for everyone who seeks one. At ASTROGLIDE, we believe that life’s too short to fake it, and hope to unlock the path to the ever-elusive orgasm for more women.
Over the next few months, we plan to uncover more about bedroom behavior with further research.