Some of the most iconic couples of all time have major height differences. Think: Nicole and Keith, Tom and Zendaya, Joe and Sophie, Kristen and Dax…the list goes on. Plus, how many people are exactly the same exact height as their partner? Regardless of who’s taller, height differences are normal and usually pose no issue in the relationship whatsoever, unless the tall/short divide is affecting your sex life. If your height difference is making sex more difficult, awkward, or just turning you off entirely because you don’t know how to position your bodies, these sex positions for height differences can help.
First and foremost, relax. “Don’t feel you need to be perfectly aligned. Get creative and enjoy the height differences to engage in a variety of sex acts—from using toys and oral sex, to hand jobs and mutual masturbation,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist at Astroglide.
Here are some tips to get you started on your sexy height difference journey.
Work the angles
Whether your goal is penetration, oral, or sexy rubbing, you have options for how you fit or place your bodies together. There are loads of position variations you can try depending on how you and your partner are most comfortable. It might mean just getting Body Part A into or against Body Part B, or focusing on meaningful eye gazing and sensual touch. “Anything that has bodies set at interesting angles can be great for fitting bodies together and letting the rest of the limbs work themselves out,” says Elizabeth Dell, a certified sex educator and founder of Amorus, a relationship and intimacy app. Try variations on cowgirl/reverse cowgirl or sideways scissors.
Try a swing
I know they might seem intimidating, but sex swings are your friends! “You can experiment with new angles with a swing, as you can adjust it to different heights,” says O’Reilly. You don’t have to go full BDSM if you don’t want to—they can also just act as a tool to position you or your partner properly. If a mouth, penis, vulva, boob, butt or toy is not where you want it, hoist or lower that swing and get things going.
Use props
Say yes to sex pillows and wedges, as well as strategic use of counters, dressers and chairs. “Chairs may be the great equalizers when it comes to enjoying sex between partners with great height differentials,” says O’Reilly.
Talk about what does it for you
ICYMI, communication = sex that is so much better. If you tell your partner what you like, and they feel comfortable doing that for you, you win! “Is it grinding? Bumping? Sliding? Where does that grinding feel best? On your clit? Along the underside of your penis? At the high back left side of your vagina?” says Dell. “This can be as simple as telling your partner what specifically felt great after sex. For example, ‘I loved when you were on top and twisted just slightly left.’”
Here are some positions to try with your much taller or shorter partner.
1 The Side Swoon
Lie on your sides facing each other, then have the receiving partner arch their back for delightfully targeted penetration to your internal hot spots. "This position is great for grinding, and a vibrating cock ring can really bring that to the next level with the vibration stimulating both partners,” says Lisa Finn, brand manager and sex educator for Babeland and Good Vibrations.
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2 The Plank
The plank can feel either cozy and protective, or a little submissive. (Chose for yourself which aspect you want to focus on.) “This is a really excellent position if your partner is both taller than you and has a larger penis/dildo. The pressure from the thighs is really pleasurable while limiting the depth of penetration,” says Sarah Martin, a certified sex coach and dating coach at Dignified Hedonist. Lie on top of a vibrator to turn it into the best thing you'll do all day.
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3 The Get On Up
“Cowgirl is fabulous position for different heights,” says Jordan D’Nelle, women's sexual health educator, intimacy coach, and founder of the Vaginas, Vulvas, and Vibrators podcast. “It can have significantly more clitoral stimulation, and since most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, this position can bring immense pleasure.” If you’re not getting all the clit stim you need, have you or your partner rub your vulva or bring a toy in to handle the job.
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4 The Notebook
If you and your partner are vastly different heights, most standing positions are pretty much out because physics… except one. If your partner is taller, have them lift your hips, pressing you passionately against the wall like a common Ryan Gosling. It may not last incredibly long—people get heavy—but for a brief shining moment, it’s bliss. (And, if it's not happening, go ahead and use a sex swing or bar stool to sit on instead).
5 The Wheelbarrow
Instead of trying to make doggy work via a mountain of pillows when your partner is way taller, let your partner hoist you up to where you need to be. They stand by the edge of the bed and hold onto your legs, like a really sexy wheelbarrow race. You can prop yourself on your elbows or just lie face down, depending on your planking skills.
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6 The (Kitchen) Counter-Intuitive
If you're taller than your partner, sit on something that's approximately the height of where their penis/dildo/toy is and you're good to go. You have an array of latent sex seats in your house–dining chairs, bar stools, couch arms or backs, dressers, kitchen counter, bathroom sink–one of them is gonna be juuuuust right. Bonus: It’s great for smooching!
7 The Shoot the Moon
Another great one if you're the taller partner: Lie with your hips at the edge of the bed and spread those long legs of yours wide, wrapping them over your partner’s shoulders. Use a sex wedge or some firm AF pillows if you need a little more height. They grab onto your butt and enter standing, giving you both a wonderful new angle to explore.
8 The Long-Distance 69
Height doesn't matter when you're lying down side-by-side, so instead of spooning, turn to face your partner, swinging a leg over their hip. Use your foot to nudge them deeper and go real slow to really savor it.
9 The Face-Off
If regular 69ing is out of the question for you, you can try throwing a sex toy in the mix. Lie on your sides facing each other and apply a vibrator or masturbation sleeve. Or, for more intimacy, one of you can go down on the other while being rewarded with the toy. Mix n' match as you please.
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