Sixty-Two Must-Know Ways to Elevate Your Oral Sex Game

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Even though there are a lot of different types of sex out there, few can compare with the one and only oral. I mean, come on—you're close, you're wet, you're naked. It’s the perfect combination for intense orgasms and ultimate intimacy. And since oral sex is one of the hottest things you can do with a partner, it’s important to learn not only what you like when receiving a lil tongue action, but how (and if!) your partner likes it as well.

Before diving into some of our favorite oral sex tips, however, ob-gyn and chief medical officer of Favor, Amy Roskin, MD, says it’s important to note that any mouth-to-genital contact counts as oral sex. No one has to orgasm for it to be “official,” and ASTROGLIDE resident sexologist, Jess O’Reilly, PhD adds that there are a whole lotta ways you can have it. “Kissing, sucking, licking, flicking, breathing, tasting” can all be part of oral sex, she explains, as can mouth-to-anus contact.

One of the many good things about oral sex is that it’s typically a reliable path to orgasm for folks with clitorises, thanks to all the direct, wet contact, O'Reilly explains. And even if you typically have penetrative intercourse, outercourse such as oral sex is a great way to mix things up. “Some see oral sex as a good way to explore intimacy with their partner in a different way than their norm, and others find oral sex preferable or more pleasurable than other forms of sex,” Dr. Roskin says.

Before engaging in any type of play, however, both experts express how essential enthusiastic consent and communication are. “It’s important to have open and honest conversations about your sexual history with your partner before engaging in oral sex,” says Dr. Roskin. Plus for many people, their sexual preferences ebb and flow, adds O'Reilly so what they liked yesterday, they might not be into now or simply aren’t feeling ATM.

That’s why experimenting, exploring, and learning new techniques are always good ideas. Thus, these 60 expert-advised oral sex techniques that’ll take you from tongue-tied to orally outstanding. Try 'em now, thank us later.

1.Check in with yourself.

Before diving below the sheets, take a second to decide if oral is what you're feeling. Preferences change day by day, so what you liked yesterday might not be the same thing you’ll like tomorrow. Not only do you want to ensure there's enthusiastic consent around the board, but if you're not in the mood to give someone a lil tongue action, it's going to bring down the whole experience.

Luckily, there are plenty of types of sex out there to try if you're not feeling oral. Dr. Roskin suggests taking the pressure off of yourself and just exploring what feels good in the moment.

2. And with your doctor.

Getting regular checkups is important for everyone, but NYU professor of human sexuality and Lelo sexpert Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, says it's especially important for vulva-owners. "It's a good idea to check that there isn't a yeast or bacterial vaginosis infection going on," she says. "Many vaginas get these on a somewhat regular basis, so it's good to become familiar with the typical appearance and smell of your vaginal discharge over the course of the cycle, so before sex, you can check for any unusual changes."

3. Practice good hygiene.

PSA: You smell and taste perfectly fine! Do not feel self conscious about your body for any reason because you! are! perfect!

But, it's easy to get in your head about these things, especially when you're with a new partner. So if it's really bugging you and you want to just relax, you won't lose anything by taking a shower or using an unscented wipe on your genitals. Not only do you want to keep things clean to avoid spreading bacteria, but just the act of wiping down can alleviate some anxiety and make you feel more confident.

"Most people prefer that the genitals are relatively clean when they go down on their partners, as smegma accumulates, and smell and taste become more intense the longer it's been," explains Vrangalova. "If you showered an hour or two before, it's probably not necessary. If you showered 10 hours ago, then probably yes."

Again, it all depends on what you've been doing and how comfortable you are with your partner. But remember: Vaginas are supposed to smell like vaginas. There's nothing wrong with you or your natural scent, so don't let anyone shame you into thinking differently.

4. ...And good oral hygiene.

When it comes to oral sex, most people don't necessarily think about their oral hygiene, but it's actually pretty important. "Oral health has a direct correlation to the transmission of infections," says sex and relationship expert Ashley Cobb. "It's important to consider if you or your partner has any mouth sores or bleeding gums prior to engaging in oral sex."

But before you scrub your teeth pre-oral, Vrangalova notes that "flossing or brushing your teeth just before or just after oral sex increases the likelihood of STI transmission, especially if people have sensitive gums that bleed easily." A good rule of thumb? Don't engage in oral sex within two hours of brushing or flossing to give your mouth time to recover.

5. Also, please please please don't douche.

Vrangalova confirms there's zero need for vaginal douching or even using heavy soaps. Douching is actually really bad because it alters the pH of the vagina, which makes it more susceptible to infection and bacteria. Rarely is there an instance where someone needs to douche, which is why Vrangalova suggests sticking to a mild soap to keep everything squeaky clean.

6. It's a good idea to use a condom.

Oral sex is still sex and can transmit many STIs, including throat chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV, and herpes, says Vrangalova. If STIs are a concern, you should consider using a condom or dental dam. Cobb notes this is especially important if you're playing with a new partner or don't know their STI status.

7. And get tested for STIs.

While we're chatting about health: When was the last time you were tested for STIs? Jasmine Akins, a sexual health educator at CAN Community Health and founder of adult sex education blog It’s Just a Coochie, says it's a good idea to get checked at least yearly—yup, even if you're monogamous. You should also know the symptoms of the most common STIs. Be on the lookout for things like burning when you pee, genital itching, and discharge. Keep in mind that for people with penises, discharge is never normal.

"People with vaginas sometimes have a harder time noticing these changes in their bodies because discharge is the body's natural way of cleaning itself," Akins explains. That's why getting tested is always a good idea.

8. Avoid foods that change the smell of your urine.

Do you ever notice that your pee smells different after too much coffee or asparagus? That's because what you eat can sometimes impact your smell and taste, explains Vrangalova. So it might be a good idea to avoid anything too pungent, like the aforementioned coffee and asparagus, but also anything too garlicky or sugary that can also impact your vagina's natural taste and smell.

But, again, keep in mind that your vagina self-cleans itself, so no need to worry it. Your natural scent is completely normal, so do not let anyone judge you for it.

9. Take a class.

If you feel self-conscious or just want to up your game, Cobb suggests taking a class, either solo or with your partner. Luckily, there are a lot of oral sex classes—as well as other types of sex classes—available online and in person. "Take a class, watch a tutorial on Youtube, practice at home with a banana," says Cobb. Whatever helps you feel prepared and confident in your abilities.

10. Make a playlist.

For many people, slow and steady wins the orgasm race, which is why O'Reilly suggests really taking your time before even making genital contact. "If you tend to rush, play music and wait for a song or two to finish before diving in between their legs." Besides, a solid playlist can help amp you up and getting you feeling frisky, no matter the type of sex you're having.

11. Give them a nose job.

Yes, your tongue and lips are v important when giving oral sex, but O'Reilly says you shouldn’t ignore one of your face’s other A+ sex orifices: your nose. “If you’re going down on a vulva, use the tip of your nose to slide right inside or roll around the head of the clit,” she suggests. “Let them grind against your face as you nod up and down, back and forth, or all around.”

12. Try a ~slow job~.

Quick movements are great and all, but sometimes you gotta go reeeeeeal slow. If your partner has a penis, O'Reilly suggests taking between 15 and 30 seconds to slowly slide your mouth from base to tip. And on vulvas, the same concept applies—lick from the top to the bottom of the clit as slowly as possible, then gently breathe some warm air along the wet path you just created. “This is a powerful (advanced) technique that can heighten sensation for both parties,” O'Reilly explains.

13. Keep going when they're done.

Technically there’s no limit for how many times someone with a vagina can orgasm in one session, says Dr. Roskin. So why not keep going after they climax to see if you can give them a second one? Same goes for the other way too: If your partner has a penis, don't pull away as soon as they orgasm. Lightly stimulate the shaft with your hand or mouth to give them all-over shivers.

14. Touch yourself.

Another great way to give oral sex is to make yourself feel good while you're at it. This doesn't mean you have to 69 (unless that's your thing), but consider giving yourself some pleasure while you're giving it. "Fantasise. Touch yourself. Wear a vibrating toy," suggests Dr. Jess. "Do whatever it takes to get yourself turned on and enthusiasm will flow naturally."

15. Try using a vibrator on all partners, even those who don’t have a vagina.

Ideally, you’ve got a few vibrators you use for your own pleasure lying around, and this can also be a great way to add a new sensation when giving oral sex on people with penises. Sex expert Tyomi Morgan recommends a massage wand like the Charmed wand by Sweet Vibes. Because it’s a wand vibrator with a curved tip, it makes it extra easy to use to tease your partner.

16. Try it blindfolded.

Morgan also recommends blindfolding your partner (obvi with their permission), as it heightens the senses and makes erogenous zones even more sensitive. Tickle their vulva, labia, shaft, balls, or head with a vibrator while blindfolded and the sensation gets even more intense.

17. Compliment their genitals.

Don’t you feel sexy and empowered when your partner compliments you? Return the favor and do the same for them. “There’s nothing more amazing than hearing what your partner likes about your genitals,” adds sex and relationship coach Azaria Menezes. Not only does it boost the turn-on factor and your confidence, but it’ll also probably get them even more revved up knowing how genuinely excited and enthusiastic you are to be with them at that moment. In fact, “the more detailed your compliments, the sexier,” she adds.

18. Rub their whole body with your hands.

While you can def use your hands on your partner’s genitals during oral, it can also be really pleasurable to have your fingers take a break from their junk and use your hands on other parts of their body, says Menezes. Use the opportunity to grab, clutch, or rub their inner thighs, hips, or even just grasp their hands.

19. Don't be afraid to get vocal or make some noise (even a long “mhm” works here!)

Even a long “mhm” works here! Not only is being vocal during sex a turn-on but the sounds may also create small vibrations, says Menezes. These vibrations, hums, and noises can add even more to the feeling of both giving and receiving oral sex.

20. And don't hold back your slurps.

If you feel a little weird about some of the—ahem—less cute noises, try not to. "Let your sounds emanate without inhibition," says O'Reilly. "Suck. Slurp. Lick. Don’t hold back." Not only do these noises also create those feel-good vibrations, but many people find the animalistic quality a total turn-on.

21. Make it a point to incorporate eye contact.

This one works equally well with both giving and receiving. This is a good way to connect to your partner even if your mouth is full (lol), and it’s a huge turn-on for your partner to look you in the eye when giving you oral, says Menezes.

22. Pretend like your partner’s genitals are the only thing in the world that matters in that moment.

Being present and 100% focused on giving oral is one of those things where your enthusiasm is nearly guaranteed to turn your partner on, Menezes says. Think about how meh it is when someone is going down on you, but their face and body language are very much reading like, “Okay, how much longer do I have to do this?” Not enjoyable, right? If you really wanna turn your partner on, enthusiasm is key here—not to mention it sets the standard for both partners really giving it their all during oral

23. When giving oral, play use your tongue on their whole body, not just their genitals.

Your tongue is a self-lubricating textured muscle that happens to be pretty strong. Work in some licking and sucking on all parts of your partner’s body, like their collarbone, fingers, and more to really turn up the heat.

24. Keep your tongue wet with some mints or chewing gum.

If you tend to get a dry mouth when giving oral, keep some mints (like those buzzy mouth-watering mints from TikTok) or chewing gum in your bedside table for easy access before going down. Specifically, anything with “xylitol” in it can help kickstart saliva function, as ob-gyn Wendy Askew, MD previously explained to Cosmopolitan. Just make sure your pets don't get into the gum—xylitol is poisonous to them.

25. Try going deeper for more spit—IF, and only if, you’re comfy with it.

Dental expert Jarrett Manning, DDS, previously told Cosmopolitan the anecdotal trick of “going deeper for more mucousy spit” is actually the result of tricking your body into gagging. Keep in mind this is basically making your body engage in a fight-or-flight response, so only do it if you’re 100% okay with it.

26. Experiment with different types of oral sex toys, like a suction vibrator or a sex toy that mimics tongue movement.

For those with vulvas, there are typically two kinds of toys that mimic the pleasure of oral sex: suction vibrators (that feel like suction and use waves and vibration for ultra-intense oral feeling) and faux-tongue-like toys (that have rubber or silicone nubbins that mimic the more superficial feeling of a literal tongue on your vulva).

When it comes to suction vibes, we recommend the Lelo Sona 2, as it’s been the most popular suction vibrator among staff and many experts, although you can’t go wrong with a Womanizer vibrator either since they also specialize in suction toy

If you’re someone who is typically a bit uncomfy getting oral, getting acquainted with these kinds of toys can open up a whole new world of pleasurable receiving, so you can go into your next oral session with full confidence knowing how good it can make you feel (if you want, ofc!). You can also use these toys with a partner the next time your tongue gets tired, or to show your partner how you like to be pleasured.

27. Try a blowjob sleeve.

Likewise, for those with penis-having partners, a blowjob sleeve can be a great way to reacquaint themselves with just how pleasurable oral can really be. You can use it together, or have them use it on their own and report back, to make it more of a couples’ activity.

28. Try a blowjob sleeve hack.

If you love the idea of blowjob sleeves, but still want to be actively involved, snip the end of a Tenga egg off, and use it for pinch-hitting when your mouth is tired during a BJ.

29. Use a cock ring.

While you're exploring sex toys, might we suggest a vibrating ring? If you or your partner has a penis, Dr. Jess says a cock ring is kinda revolutionary. Just be prepared: Your SO probably won't last long, so this is great to use when you're in a time crunch.

30. If you’re not already getting lube involved, do it.

You might think of lube as just for penetrative sex, but TBH, saliva is not always as reliable as having a legit eight ounces of the stuff ready to go on your bedside table. Whether you’re giving or getting head on someone with a penis or a vulva, a good lube is going to make the whole thing way easier and more pleasurable for both parties. Plus, it takes some of the pressure off the giver as well.

31. Tell your partner they taste really good.

Regardless of which gender you’re performing oral on, being told that your genitals straight-up taste good is an insane turn-on. If you’re so into your partner that the pheromones in your brain are kicking in and being like, ‘Yes, this is amazing, every part of it,’ tell them so! Enthusiasm is super effing hot.

32. Experiment with suction on the clitoris.

Cunnilingus is often associated with licking, which is well and good, but suction on the clitoris can also feel extremely good. Have your partner try lightly sucking on the external part of your clitoris after tons of licking around the labia to get you warmed up (direct clitoral sensation like this can be too much right off the bat), or try sucking on your partner’s clit. It helps to think of the clit as a tiny penis, and the objective is to give the world’s gentlest blow job.

33. Keep your undies on during oral.

Have your partner keep your undies on during all the foreplay of oral, exhaling their warm breath over the fabric of your panties, lightly tugging on the elastic with their teeth, etc. When you can’t take it anymore and they’re about to actually make mouth-to-vulva contact, have them push your underwear to the side as they go to town. The primal gotta-have-you-now effect of keeping your undies on will make things even hotter.

34. Get familiar with the Kivin method.

Instead of having your partner approach your vulva with the clit in the north end of their oral compass, have them lie perpendicularly, so your clit is now located in the east or west positions. This way, they can lick your clit from the new north to south, aka side-to-side, for what some say is a truly game-changing oral experience called the Kivin method.

35. Narrate the whole thing.

Yes, your mouth may be occupied, but when you have—ahem—a spare moment, tell your partner exactly what you’re doing and how. There’s more than one way to use your mouth for sex, after all.

36. Get creative with positions.

Penetrative sex shouldn’t get all the fun body contortions. Mix up your oral game by physically moving around and trying new positions, just like you do in the rest of your sex life. The more body parts that are in the air, the better.

37. Do it spontaneously.

Whether you’re bored as fuck watching some documentary or just randomly got horny at the breakfast table, turn a mundane situation into an extremely thrilling one with a quick oral sesh (always, of course, with the full enthusiastic consent from your partner). A rut can also look like doing very exciting sex things always at the same time/in the same place. Mix it all up by bringing your sex life into new and unexpected places.

38. Bring in some toy assistance.

If your mouth and hands are tired (they do a lot of work all day, we get it!), or even if they’re not, you both can and should bring in some nonhuman assistance. With your partner’s permission, add a butt plug or anal beads to up the ante.

39. Put oral sex porn on in the background.

Not all porn is created equal, and there are tons of ethical, feminist porn options out there for those who are so inclined to enjoy. Find a flick you both like, maybe watch for some new moves or tips, and then get to it while the people onscreen are getting to it behind you.

40. Use your breath.

Mare Simone, a certified tantra educator, says that using your hot breath to stimulate nerve endings is an amazing way to ramp up foreplay before diving in. This works just as well with fellatio as it does with cunnilingus. Next time you’re going down on your partner, just take a step back to breathe on their sensitive parts before making contact. The suspense will turn them on in ways you didn’t know were possible.

41. Try some light prostate play.

Did you know you can stimulate a penis-haver's prostate externally without actually inserting any fingers or toys in the booty? Cara Kovacs, an NYC-based sex coach, suggests stimulating your partner’s perineum (located between their anus and balls) by gently massaging the area while going down on them.

42. And consider trying analingus.

Rimming, also known as analingus, is the act of orally pleasuring the anus, which can involve licking, sucking, kissing, and any other pleasurable act that involves oral-to-anal contact. As with all oral sex, you want to make sure everything's clean, but other than that, don't be scared to try it out if your partner is into it! Many—regardless of gender or orientation—find it extremely pleasurable.

43. Kiss for a while before moving on.

When it comes to cunnilingus, Kovacs recommends kissing your partner outside their panties (like, on their mouth) for a while until they're begging for you. “Many people with vaginas need more time to warm up, and gentle touching is a great preface,” she explains.

44. Don’t be afraid to be messy and show enthusiasm.

Regardless of if you’re performing fellatio or cunnilingus, it’s supes important to show enthusiasm. Think about it. The best technical skill in the world doesn’t matter if the giver seems bored, uninterested, or, even worse, turned off while going down on you. Kovacs recommends vocal enthusiasm, eye contact, and smiling to show your partner how much you enjoy pleasing them. It’s also important to be okay with messiness. “Show your partner that you like having their deliciousness all over your face. That nothing about them doesn’t turn you on and that you delight in their delight,” says Kovacs.

45. Spread the labia.

Along the same lines of not being bashful, CalExotics’ resident sexologist, Jill McDevitt, PhD, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ to your partner.

46. Masturbating can help you figure out what you like.

Yes, a tongue is way different than a finger or a toy, but knowing what works for you when you’re solo is at least a good place to start when explaining what you want your partner to do when they’re thigh-deep and ready to go. Do you like constant pressure or increasing pressure? How about speed and pace?

47. Get your whole body into it.

As recommended via a podcast from the pros at Pleasure Mechanics, try stimulating (or asking your partner to stimulate) your whole body first, starting from your legs and working inward toward your clitoris.

48. Switch things up at the beginning.

As many people get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you’re doing without stopping till they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, to build up anticipation at the beginning, you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream-style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-genital sucking.

49. If it’s hard for you to focus on enjoying yourself, turn the lights off.

A shocking number of people have trouble letting go mentally and enjoying oral sex when their partner goes down on them. Sound like you? Try keeping the lights off so you’re less likely to be distracted by your surroundings and more likely to float off into ready-to-orgasm land.

50. You don’t need a partner to enjoy oral-like sensations.

While very few things are going to exactly recreate the feeling of a tongue, some newer vibrators come pretty close. Options like the Womanizer, which utilizes suction, or the Ora 2 we mentioned above, are excellent substitutes.

Cosmo

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