What turns someone on? It's a big and, sometimes, a confusing question. Different people are turned on by different things and it can be difficult to see why one person's "Wow!" is another person's "Yuck."
A new survey from the sex toy retailer EdenFantasys asked 2,000 Americans about their biggest turn-ons, turn-offs, and more — and it turns out, there's a whole range of things that Americans like in the bedroom. Although they also found that there were different times in our life where we may be feeling more experimental than others. The survey found that Americans are their kinkiest at age 37, which seems very exact indeed. But there is sometimes a difference between what you're up for in theory and what your actual turn-ons are in reality. Fantasy isn't always the same as actual arousal.
"Fantasies play an important role in our lives, as they offer a form of escapism from the everyday," Astroglide's resident sexologist Jess O'Reilly tells Bustle. "Fantasies may offer a glimpse into the thematic elements of your real-life desires, but it’s important to note that sexual fantasies often include acts, people, and scenarios that we’d never want to pursue in real life." So what real-life actions are actually turning people on?
Here's what the survey found.
1. Neck Kisses
Neck kisses came out at the number one overall turn-on for Americans. And it's something that most people can get behind. Whether some biting or full-blown hickies are included in that is more debatable. They may have worked in the back of a car in Grease, but in real life they can lead to a lot of awkward questions or a bizarre attempt at a statement scarf.
2. My Partner Saying "I Like That"
Who doesn't like a little verbal reinforcement? A partner saying they like something came in at number two on the list. It can be direct reinforcement or a bit more a like dirty talk, depending on your style. Either way, it's always good to know that you're on the right tack.
3. My Partner Undressing Me
Rather than a striptease from their partner, it was a partner actually doing the undressing that came in at number three.
4. My Partner Going Down On Me
Although having someone go down on you seems more like a sex act than a turn-on, it came in at number four on the list. Interestingly, 76 percent of men said that this was a turn-on compared to only 56 percent of women.
5. Undressing My Partner
Apparently we all really like to undress each other. While a partner undressing us came in at number three, undressing our partner came in at number five. You have to get those clothes off somehow.
6. Nibbling My Ear
The ears are a very sensitive area, so it's no surprise to see a little ear nibbling come in at number six.
7. Lingerie
It turns out both men and women were big enough fans of lingerie, as it come in at number seven.
Different people are turned on by different things, but this list has the top turn-ons, and they do seem like ones that a lot of us can get behind.