What Is Scissoring? 12 Things to Know About the Scissor Sex Position

What do your junk drawer and bedroom have in common? Scissors. Well, one should have scissors you use to cut, and the other should have the scissoring sex position you use for pleasure.

While you might equate scissoring with vulva-on-vulva action, it's actually a far more expansive and inclusive sex position than mainstream porn (sigh) might have you believe. "Scissoring sex is any sex act that involves genital-on-genital rubbing or grinding," explains body-positive pleasure expert Carly S., founder of Dildo or Dildon't.

The position earned its name because it most commonly entails two people spreading their legs, "like two pairs of open scissors, and then meeting at the middle," according to Sarah Sloane, a sex educator and coach at Good Vibrations and Pleasure Chest. It can be accomplished by both partners lying on their back or sides, or with one partner straddling the other.

"Historically, scissoring was a sex act that involved two vulva-owners pressing their vulvas against each other," says Sloane. Key word here: historically! These days, what qualifies as scissoring has expanded to include any genital-on-genital contact, says Carly S.  Outie vag or outie vagina stimulation can be very rewarding.

Thanks to PornHub categories scissoring has a reputation as "The Lesbian Sex Act," but this is false. "Scissoring is not a lesbian sex act," agrees Sloane. For one, not everyone who tries or likes scissoring identifies as a lesbian. Sexual orientation, after all, is determined by personal identification, not by which sex acts you prefer. Second, there are many lesbians who do not practice the scissor sex position, and this fact does not make them any less lesbian.

"Vulva owners have a lot of erectile tissue under the labia (including the clitoris), which can be stimulated through external stimulation," says Sloane. ICYDK, your clit is much more than that little nub at the top of your labia; super sensitive clitoral tissue extends under the labia on either side of your vulva, and so stimulating this entire area (which scissoring certainly does) can absolutely feel amazing and add to your arousal. Fun fact: Many vulva-owners' clitorises will become engorged and their labia will become heavier and puffier (yes, it's essentially having a hard-on) during scissoring thanks to all the blood rushing to the entire area and filling up that erectile tissue in response to being turned on, says Sloane.

Another cool thing about scissoring is that your pelvic floor muscles automatically activate when you move your pelvis in a grinding motion against your partner, she says. (Yep, grinding is basically like doing a lot of tiny pelvic tilts in Pilates!). Because orgasms are essentially a series of pelvic floor contractions, she says that you may notice that orgasms come more quickly during this position as a result.

As for penis-owners? "Scissoring allows them to experience the sensation of rubbing their penis against something warm (and sometimes wet) attached to a person they either love or are sharing a sexual experience with," says Carly S. Inherently, that's going to feel good, she says.

Even though vaginas naturally produce quite a bit of lubrication during sex, it's specifically your vagina (that's the internal canal) that produces the lubricant, and not the vulva (the external part of female genitals). Because your vulva is what's experiencing most of the friction while scissoring, this can cause chaffing (ouch).

An easy fix: "Adding a bit of store-bought lubricant to the vulva can help increase the sensation, and help the genitals glide more easily against each other," says Sloane.

"Scissoring can be intense with clothing on, too," says Sloane. "You might have one partner leave their jeans on so the second partner can experience additional friction." Or you might both keep your clothing on in a dry-humping move.

In terms of energy expenditure and prerequisite strength and stamina, scissoring is right up there with Rider On Top (which you might know as cowgirl). Once you get into the scissoring start position, you're going to want to move your genitals up and down against each other in order to stimulate your genitals, explains Sloane. This movement calls on your glutes, core, quads, and hamstrings big time.

If you get tired halfway through, ask your partner to switch up who's doing the most of the work, says Carly S. (Usually the person on top is doing more work than the person on bottom). "You can also switch to a different sex act altogether," she says. You might, for example, take a breather during spooning sex or mutual masturbation, then return to scissoring once you're rested up.

On that note, just as you wouldn't jump into a workout without warming up first, you shouldn't jump into scissoring without warming up first. "Stretching your hips ahead of time may help make the position more comfortable," says Carly S. Runner lunges, frog stretch, figure 4, and 90/90 stretch will do the trick. (You might also take a hip-opening partner yoga class together.)

Also, H2O plays a key role in helping your muscles function. While a mid-romp cramp is really NBD — just get out of position and shake it off — if you can avoid them with a few gulps, you might as well.

"Don't be afraid to use your surroundings to help you position your body," says Carly S. Have a headboard? Hang onto it. Getting down on the couch? Use the couches back or arms for leverage. Bed littered with pillows? Lean on them.

In fact, sex educator Marla Renee Stewart, M.A., sexpert for Lovers adult wellness brand and retailer recommends investing in a positioning pillow like the Liberator Wedge (Buy it, $110, lovehoney.com). "Placing the positioner underneath your butt can help make sure your genitals are more easily-accessible," she says.

Uhh, what sex position isn't made better by the addition of a vibe?? (Hint: None). "Add some vibrations between both of your bodies for extra sensation," says Stewart. She recommends incorporating the We-Vibe Chorus (Buy it, $200, lovehoney.com) which is a wearable couples vibrator that allows one partner to experience internal and external stimulation, and the other to experience external stimulation.

Another option is a palm vibrator like the Romp Wave (Buy it, $30, amazon.com), Le Wand Point (Buy it, $130, babeland.com), or Dame Pom (Buy it, $100, babeland.com). Ergonomically designed to curve around the vulva, Sloane suggests tucking the buzzing tag-a-long between your bods, "then rocking so you can both experience the sensation."

The sex toy possibilities here definitely aren't limited to vibrators. "Everything in the pelvic region is interconnected, so filling your vagina or anus with a non-vibrating toy like a butt plug or vaginal beads can enhance sensation all over," says Sloane. She recommends opting for a weighted version of these toys, such as the b-vibe Snug Plug 1 (Buy it, $48, babeland.com) or Lelo Beads Noir Kegel Balls (Buy it, $50, babeland.com) because with every thrust, the weight will shift, stimulating the nerves alongside your inner canal. "It's a pretty cool sensation," assures Carly S.

Point blank: If you or your partner(s) have a bony or protruding pelvis or hip bones, scissoring can be more "ouch" than "oh!" "One time after scissoring someone, my pelvic region was bruised from all the bone-on-bone grinding," says Carly S. Pass.

She recommends padding your bodies with something like the Pelle Whim Silicone Grinding Toy (Buy it, $98, feelpelle.com) or the Trojan Tantrix Masturbation Sleeve (Buy it, $6, amazon.com). "You can also cover the head of a wand vibrator with a Tenga Egg (Buy it, $9, babeland.com), which allows you to pad your bodies while enjoying the vibrator."

"In my experience and research, many folks aren't a fan of scissoring," says Stewart. People with less-exposed, back-facing vulvas — meaning, their vulva is angled more toward the back of the body — in particular, tend not to enjoy the scissor sex position. Blame geometry: The angle makes it trickier to stimulate them from a traditional scissoring sex position. (To better understand the various vulva angles, spend some time perusing The Great Wall Of Vagina.)

Carly S. agrees that scissoring isn't always possible or comfortable anatomically; mobility, strength, and body shape can also impact whether or not a pleasure-seeker is a fan.

"I'm an advocate for trying things at least three times," says Stewart. "If after that you still don't enjoy the position, you may just need to settle that it's not your thing and that's perfectly okay. There are plenty of other options, including rubbing your genitals on your partner's thigh, humping different parts of their body, and so much more."