Originally published: April 2020
Last updated: November 2024
Doggy style is hot—most of us can agree on this. Sure, it’s not for everyone, but for those of us who love it, we LOVE it. The problem? Sometimes this position can be a bit uncomfortable or even painful.
All too often women experience discomfort or pain during sex and simply grit their teeth and “get it over with.” This is not how sex should be. Sex always should be fun and feel amazing.
If doggy style is something that appeals to you, but it isn’t enjoyable in practice due to pain, here are a few things you can try.
Stay away from traditional doggy
This may seem obvious, but for many of us, going right for the traditional doggy-style position is all we know how to do. The problem is that traditional doggy, where you’re on your hands and knees with your partner behind you, can be “too much.” This position has been known to squish the vaginal canal, making it shallower than in other positions. Ouch.
For some women, doggy-style penetration can smack against the cervix, causing pain and spotting. If this is the case for you, don’t muscle through it. Instead, choose positions that are enjoyable for you. This doesn’t mean giving up doggy altogether, it just means altering how you do it.
Communicate with your partner
It’s really important that you let your partner know how you’re feeling. Letting them know when you're in pain will get you on the same page. In fact, studies show that communication is actually the one thing that makes the biggest difference in satisfying sex. It may seem easier to just “do it” when a partner is really into doggy style, but if you’re not enjoying it, you need to speak up. Otherwise you’ll just wind up resentful. (And with an icepack on your vagina.)
Try the OhNut
The OhNut is a wearable device that controls the depth of penetration of penises or dildos. Originally designed for women who experience pain during sex, this device is truly revolutionary. The silicone rings are stackable, meaning you can add or take away as many as you want for controlled depth. This can be super useful in doggy style, which creates deeper penetration and can be uncomfortable for some women. This toy is super durable, squishy, and comfortable for both the wearer and the wearer's partner.
Slow it down
Instead of intense, fast pounding movements, try having a slow and steady flow. Your partner can even bend over your back, giving them access to kiss your neck and rub your clitoris. Doggy style doesn’t have to be rough, it can be slow and passionate. Give it a chance to be more than what you’ve seen in porn. Oh, and do not forget the lube!
Try flat doggy style
This position works because of the difference in penetrative depth. Instead of being on your knees with your back arched, you’re lying flat down, making penetration shallower. Lie down on the bed, resting your hands under your chin or in a baby cobra position. Keep your legs closed and have your partner lie on top of you, entering you from behind. For even more comfort (since lying flat can be hard on the lower back) try putting a pillow under your hips. This will give you some extra lift but take the pressure off your spine.
Give spooning a go
Spooning isn’t exactly the same as doggy style; it definitely lacks some of the aggressive, animalistic feeling. What it does have is the same snug feeling of having your partner behind you, with an added feeling of closeness. And, it’s not as painful. Sometimes doggy style just isn’t working for you, and even if you partner loves it, it doesn’t mean you have to do it. This is especially true when it causes you physical discomfort. Give other positions a try and be creative with it. You might find a new favourite.