"Penises get erect in a variety of angles and, depending on the position you're both in, they can more easily sort of 'spring' out of the vagina with each outward thrust — especially because, ideally, there's a lot of slippery lubrication going on," sex educator Anne Hodder tells Bustle. "During orgasm, the vagina muscles contract and tighten, which can absolutely 'push' out something inside (penis, dildo, hand) if there isn't anything keeping it in place. So it's totally possible that a vagina can accidentally push out a penis, especially one that's post-orgasm and losing its erection, but it's really nothing to worry about. Kind of just part of the deal."
So, don't be concerned if your partner's penis keeps falling out during sex. Inconvenient as it may be, it's not an unusual part of the process. Nevertheless, it can be annoying. So, here are a few tips that can help you prevent it from happening or keep going after it.
1. Use Shallower Thrusts
"If the penis-owner isn't completely aware of how far out they're pulling, it can be easy to accidentally pull out completely," says Hodder. To correct for this, your partner can use shallow thrusts instead of going all the way out.
2. Change Positions
"When the partner is on top, the onus is on them to be aware of how far up/out they're gyrating in order to avoid the penis from slipping out completely," Hodder says. To give your partner a break, you could try getting on top so that the onus is on you.
You may run into the same problem and find that you keep slipping off, but your chances may be better, Astroglide's resident sexologist Jess O'Reilly tells Bustle. "You can control the movement and reduce the amount of thrusting they do (which often leads to slippage)," she says.
3. Prop Yourself Up
If you stay on the bottom, putting pillows under your knees, stomach, or hips can help close the distance between you and your partner, says Jess. "Sometimes it’s the angle that makes it difficult to stay inside, and so a small adjustment can help," she says.
4. Take Turns Being In Control
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When two people are moving around at once, keeping everything together can be a challenge. "Sometimes, you slip because you’re both moving at the same time," says Dr. Jess. "If you allow one person to manage most of the movement (e.g. they can move back and forth while holding onto and guiding your hips), you might find that you’re less likely to slip."
5. Leave It Out For A Bit
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If your partner's penis is slipping out, chances are you're very well lubricated, which means you might enjoy moving the penis back and forth on the outside of your labia and clitoris, says Jess. "You’ll likely get just as much (if not more) pleasure than you do when he slides inside."
6. Pace Yourself
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There's a lot to be said for slow sex, and one of its many advantages is that it helps you control your motions. "Whether you’re on top, lying back or on your knees, try slowing the movement and adjusting the rhythm so that you can follow one another without slipping out," says Jess.
7. Just Put It Back In
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While there are some ways to reduce slippage, you can also just roll with it, put the penis right back in, and keep on going. Don't hold yourself or your partner to the expectation that the penis always stays in. A little slippage never hurt anyone.
Also of note: your partner shouldn't take this personally, because it's not a matter of size, says Dr. Jess. "Slippage during P-V sex is perfectly normal."