OK so lot of people watch porn – in fact, Pornhub alone received more than 115 million visitors per day in 2019. And, with many of us stuck at home for most of this year, global traffic on pornhub was already up 11.6% in March alone. While it’s true that pornography can still carry a negative connotation, it is increasingly becoming more commonplace and normalised – something that should bring us pleasure and joy, not shame. So, whether you’re a porn novice or a pro, how do you decide what kind of pornography is right for you? Read on for 6 tips…then enjoy!
Take Time to Explore
Most porn sites have videos and images with just about every sexual fantasy you can imagine (and probably some you’ve never even thought of). Feel like living out a seductive story being rescued by a handsome, chiseled fireman who takes you to bed? Or maybe you want to get right to the down-and-dirty with a highlights reel of your favorite porn star. With so much erotica just a few clicks away, take the time to explore different genres. Try some videos you’ve never watched before to learn more about what you like – and just as importantly, what you don’t. Watching porn, especially when accompanied by masturbation or sex, is an intensely personal experience, and it’s important to explore what gets you to the height of your own unique pleasure zone.
Find Content That’s Empowering
Like virtually every other business today, the porn industry has both good and bad qualities. On the plus side, it’s a great way to relieve sexual tension, explore your sexuality, and maybe learn some new things you’d like to try yourself. On the other hand, some pornography can be degrading to women in particular, or create unrealistic or even dangerous expectations about how a sexual partner should act. That doesn’t mean no more BDSM – as long as everyone is getting what they want and enjoy, there’s nothing wrong with domination or getting a little extra kinky. The important thing to remember is just like it’s healthy to explore what types of porn you enjoy, it’s also good practice to educate yourself and find content that’s empowering for those involved. There are even categories on some websites for feminist porn. Spending a few minutes to learn about the industry can go a long way towards helping you feel more responsible and better about the porn you enjoy.
Tease Yourself
We tend to think about porn as a facilitator to masturbation or sex (we’ll get to that next, we promise), but just seeing pornographic images or pictures can be highly stimulating. When we watch porn, the reward centre of our brain releases a flood of dopamine, and we get even more when we stimulate ourselves with touch. But instead of always relying on physical stimulation for sexual pleasure, try occasionally watching porn without touching yourself, and focusing on the mental stimulation instead. You can experiment with which types of porn work best for this – may be slow and sensual, solo masturbation, or fantasy scenarios – to maximise your stimulation and give yourself a sexy tease without actually reaching orgasm. Oh and don't forget the Astroglide water based or silicone based personal lubricant. As a bonus, building up stamina with visual stimulation can also help you last longer with a partner (if that’s a goal for you) for some truly great sex!
Introduce Porn in the Bedroom
Not only is porn changing, so is the way we consume it. Rather than going it alone, more than half of Americans report having watched porn as a couple, and an even higher 66% say they would watch it with a partner if they were asked. Watching porn can be a sensitive topic – especially if you’re not sure how your partner feels – but it can also be a fun new way to introduce some excitement in the bedroom. Before you begin, have a conversation to make sure it’s something both you and your partner are ready for, and start small. Try watching the first few minutes of a video before things get too hot-and-heavy, and once the action starts, focus on each other like you normally would and let the video add an extra sexy element to the background. We’d also recommend using a favorite video to show your partner what you want them to do to you – it can help to have a visual example, and chances are you and your partner will both be aroused watching it. If you need help getting started, check out our blog on 10 expert tips for watching porn with a partner.
Try New Things With a Partner
Now that you’ve watched porn together, maybe you and your partner have seen a couple of new moves you want to try, or a hot new roleplaying scenario to spice up your usual routine. Before you have your partner dressing like a lifeguard and jumping into a backward handstand, it’s best to take things slow. Try a relatively easy, comfortable position, preferably one where at least one of you is lying down so the risk of falling or injury is minimal. Once you’ve got some of the new basic moves down, you can move on to more complex positions. Just remember – not every position or role playing scenario you see in porn is realistic. Porn is made to be exciting, but those actors have the support of a film crew and staff who can prop them up or use camera angles to make risky or even impossible moves seem natural. And “actors” is the operative word here. Don’t be surprised if the moves you are trying out do not turn out to be as enjoyable for each of you (or even painless) as these actors portray them to be. In the bedroom, it’s just you and your partner (and whoever else you invite), so be mindful when imitating what you see on the screen.
Set Limits
We’ve talked a lot about the fun and exciting ways porn can spice up our sex lives, but it’s also important to remember to set limits on how much you might rely on it. Especially during the last few months when we’ve been stuck inside or without a partner, turning to internet porn can be a quick, easy way to get your rocks off – but it’s not a substitute for genuine self-care and/or human connection. It’s perfectly healthy to use and enjoy porn, but make sure to also take time to enjoy yourself and connect with a partner without it.
Whether you’re a porn pro or just getting started, there’s something for everyone. Take the time to venture outside of mainstream porn to find what you like, explore your own sexual desires, and try out new things on your own or with a partner. And however you enjoy porn, adding some personal lubricant can make your experience even more pleasurable – try it out and enjoy!